Black Out.

I really couldn’t give two s**ts about preparing a meal, for this year’s Thanksgiving dinner. I was already grinched up because I was scheduled for a mandatory tech shift at the hospital. Sadly, I’m not really big on contributing to the feast. Just like in any other workplace, if you work on Thanksgiving, you can assume there will be a potluck of sorts. Hell, you probably wouldn’t want my butt making anything anyway. I’m the type of guy you send out to the store to get last minute things. The guy you don’t want wasting time in the kitchen. The tool. Lol. I’m ok with it. I’m like Dr. Huxtable on his adventures in the rain, during Thanksgiving.

I went into work a little early last night. Hell, I didn’t have a damn thing to do. I was on vacation. No school. No miscellaneous homework I had to worry about. No family or significant other to go home to. Sad. I know. But lets not dwindle on that. Solitude has really been my style, for quite sometime. Anyway, I waited in the parking lot, until I was literally on the edge of time to clock in. The lights in the parking lot were dim, but just enough to see the lot covered with black ice. As soon as you got into the lot, a caution sign started blinking in the air. I was a grump. I really didn’t want to work last night. I didn’t want to deal with patients. I didn’t want to deal with all their bullshit. If you’re a healthcare professional, you’d understand.

As a tech, you’re literally in the front lines of it all, along with the nurses. And in the morning, after a long shift, you’ll probably won’t hear as much as a thank you the next day. Thus, you really have to have a passion for it all, to keep doing it. I can tell you that much. Me…i’m not sure. Being a tech, for only 6 months, was no longer for me. Pathetic.

In my experiences as a tech, it was very rare to get the good patients. A perfect score was hardly relevant. Maybe it was just my luck, being on a med-surg floor, or just the hospital. Idk. I hated it. Being a tech really sucks the life out of you. Sucks your will to care for others. There’s always someone who wants and needs something more than others. And if they don’t get it, as a result they shit on your day. Everyone has this sense of entitlement. But I won’t get into that. That’s for another blog post.

This morning I walked back out to my car, having been defeated for another night. I sat there, waiting for the ice on my windshield to defrost. I thought to myself, “I don’t even have enough cash to treat myself on Black Friday…all the shit I been through with these assholes, the entitled sick and all their bullshit…and yet McDonalds employees want a flipping raise?” I digress. Maybe for a different blog post, I guess. Let me go home. Black out. And hopefully wake up to a different light.




Author: nursesarereal

My nursing professor once said that keeping a journal, over time, will allow me to see growth. In myself? I’m not sure yet. I’m hoping. I like to believe that nursing school saved my life. Maybe I’ll have some fun doing this. Cheers.

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