I just was getting off work. And after having had a long stressful, mind numbing, monotonous day in paradise, all I could really think about was kicking back to a nice cold beer…or perhaps stuffing my face with a cheeseburger; an immoral piece of luxury that would only give me a stabbing heart attack in the end.
But there it was, I thought. Another freaking advertisement, a waste of paper, resting buckled underneath my windshield wiper. Should I piss on this one to divert wild life away or just throw it willingly on the ground for it to degrade itself? None of the above actually. If you could tell, I was already kind of crabby that afternoon.
The note was uniquely shaped into a paper airplane. A pretty sturdy one at that, with nicely folded creases. The paper airplane carried it’s weight both literally and figuratively. And unlike all other advertisements, it barely had writing on it. It was mainly bare, which is one of the reasons I was inclined to open it.
“I’ve tried to kill myself/I’m currently suicidal.”
I work at an inpatient psych ward, so these type of things don’t come lightly. What was I supposed to do? It wasn’t signed…it didn’t have any name or call back number. Was this one of the patients, in the outpatient program? Was it one of my co-workers? I don’t know. But the truth is, depression and suicidal ideation are rarely public to begin with. Trust me…I know.
Psychiatric nursing can be a stressful and scary place. I’m not even sure if was right for me to specialize in. But I do know this, psych nursing isn’t joke. It can be fun at times, sure. But, it can also go from zero to 60 real quick. It’s a vast field for those who are willing to care for this population. And just by clicking on the news, it’s a forever growing one.
I simply took the note home with me and did nothing about it…
Could I have done something? I didn’t know what to do with.
Depression and suicidal ideation are rarely public. Help one another.